Take it Literally
Fear is a great tactic to make people follow the rules you set in place. Add in a terrifying figure to represent the punishment people will receive if they fail to follow those rules, and you can get your followers to believe all kinds of things.
The devil works hard, but Christians work harder—especially since they’re the only ones to actually believe in a literal Satan as a fear-invoking figure.
Could’ve, Would’ve
Hindsight is 20/20. There are a lot of things that happened in the history of our world that seem so avoidable, so changeable with our modern perspective—but actually surviving these events might be a bit more difficult than we think.
This person is so confident they would’ve changed the fate of the Chornobyl disaster, we’re almost tempted to find a way to send them back just to prove us all wrong. That, or contract a whole bunch of health issues.
Seeing Things
Have you ever been so ill that you start hallucinating? Sometimes, our sickness takes over our senses and makes us see all kinds of things that aren’t actually there.
However, even on our sickest days, we’re not sure we’ve ever encountered the hat man that this Twitter user speaks of. The immediate regret in response to the first user’s concern has us absolutely cackling—if not only to ignore the fear their hallucination has installed in us.
Save a Life
We all have different moral standards. Some people say they’d go to the ends of the earth for their loved ones, while others might just kill an entire species.
However, while violence was this person’s initial plan of action, a little bit of love might just go a whole lot farther in saving a life. If that’s what it takes to save the human race, we’re not ones to judge.
Main Character Energy
Instead of falling into the existential crisis that we are just specks of dust in the universe, try thinking in the completely opposite way.
Instead of believing nothing matters, just remember that you are the main character of your own reality, and watch your whole perspective on life change. Did something really happen if it didn’t affect you? That’s definitely one way to live your life.
Youse Two
To anyone passing this bag of healthy snacks in a grocery store, they might just walk right by it without a second glance at what’s sure to be a tasteless, crunchy bite of nothing.
To the genius who looked closer at the opportunity presented, this name is the perfect insult for any mafia boss in a stereotypical Italian mobster movie. Try reading this without an Italian accent. We bet you can’t.
Don’t Mock Me
Early mornings are made all the sweeter with the cool breeze in the air and the sounds of birds’ songs filling the air. Nothing makes you feel more like a Disney princess than opening the window to sing with the birds.
We’re thankful that birds only whistle, instead of actually mocking us to our faces. That’d be one horrible way to start your days.
Jaws
Today, scientists and explorers constantly come across species they’ve never seen nor named before. It blows our minds that there are still so many things on this earth that are yet to be discovered.
We can only imagine what it must’ve felt like for those who discovered animals like horses, gorillas, or lions. One thing is for sure—the first person to discover sharks definitely didn’t get a chance to tell anyone about it.
Don’t Fear the Reaper
“You reap what you sow” is a timeless idiom that reminds us of the consequences tied to our actions. However, it seems the genius behind this phrase overlooked the wisdom imparted by certain song lyrics “Live fast, die young, bad girls do it well.”
Yes, according to those lyrics, sowing wild oats without concern for the aftermath seems way more enticing. After all, reaping is definitely the less exciting part of the whole equation.
Let Down Your Defenses
We’ve all come across parents on social media who are desperate to show off just how smart and capable their children are, even if it means fabricating some of the details.
This is one of the more terrifying versions of a proud dad, given that he doesn’t actually have a son and the one he’s tweeting about seems awfully interested in the details necessary to take down Earth.
Just Purrfect
It can be tedious to train new employees so that they are self-sufficient in their jobs. Still, you would think there’d be ways to avoid silly mistakes such as putting the wrong photo on the meeting invitation.
However, this isn’t the worst thing that could happen. Honestly, if we received an invitation with a cat wearing cookie monster pajamas on it, we’d absolutely be attending that meeting. Sounds like a good time we don’t want to miss.
Toasted to Perfection
There’s nothing quite as satisfying as the perfect crunch of a piece of toast slathered in butter, jam, or both. Toast is the perfect side for soups and salads, and can cure just about any stomach pain or heartache.
Whoever thought regular bread wasn’t cooked enough and decided to char a piece just to get that extra crunchy bite, we owe you our lives.
Survival Instinct
Everyone has a different body. Therefore, the same routines and diets might not work for every body type. When we don’t see the results we want, it’s easy to get frustrated. Just remember—your ancestors are protecting you.
While you may not need the same slow metabolism to stay well-nourished as your ancestors did in times of famine and poverty, you can thank them for passing down the best survival techniques they had.
Shoot for the Moon
We’ll never get sick of Thanksgiving food, but that doesn’t mean people can’t devise creative ways to revive the classic turkey, mashed potatoes, and green beans meal.
However, if you’re thinking of sticking a Moon Pie inside a turkey this Thanksgiving, maybe just… don’t. We wouldn’t take the Moon Pie account’s reply as an endorsement of this idea, and we definitely wouldn’t recommend serving this at your next family holiday.
Dressed Up
As we grow up, we seem to lose the playful side of ourselves and start taking life a bit too seriously. When did we stop appreciating Halloween as the one day a year we can dress up and be silly with our friends?
This Twitter user found themselves a bit out of place when they walked into their friend’s house on Halloween. Nevertheless, we admire their commitment to the holiday. Stay spooky, friends.
He’s Ken-ough
When Barbie officially came out in theaters, people flocked to the movies, dressed up in their most extravagant pink outfits or their best versions of Ken.
So, it’s only fair for people to assume this guy is dressed up to see the movie. After all, a simple polo and bleach-blonde tips aren’t too far off from one of Ken’s outfits. He might as well embrace it.
Don’t Get Aga-Ravated
Everyone has different dreams and passions in life. Some people aspire to climb the corporate ladder and become the top of their field, while others dream of fulfilling their biological destiny and becoming a parent.
Guess what—this might sound like a shocker, but it’s even possible to do both! The world is your oyster. And that means if you want to marry rich, become a mother, and get an expensive Aga, do it! We support you.
Reality Check
Younger generations seem awfully scared to bring children into this world and grow old themselves. With the way things are going, we don’t blame them.
With nature at the bottom of the list of priorities, and online shopping at the top, this fear of the future doesn’t seem too far off from our reality. This tweet itself is a “big mood.”
Realistic Expectations
In our early twenties, we get very comfortable being on the brink of going broke. Though we might have a room to live in, it doesn’t mean we have a bedframe or a rug for our rooms.
It’s a shared experience though, and it’s oh so satisfying when you’re finally able to afford adult furniture. We’re so proud of this person for accomplishing this next stage in life, and we hope everyone experiences this soon.
Missed Opportunity
The Barbie movie has itself a star-studded cast, bringing together the best of Hollywood into one film. It’s expected to be one of the best movies of the summer, but the cast directors really missed an opportunity.
A classic heartthrob and a genuinely sweet guy, Skyler Gisondo would’ve been the perfect addition to this group of actors. We’ll be going to see the movie, of course, but just know—we’ll be thinking about how good Gisondo would’ve been too.
Tony Walk
Tony Hawk ruled the skateboarding scene, making it more than just a fun hobby for people everywhere. While his career has been impressive, all of those times we didn’t see him fall must’ve finally caught up to him.
After all, Hawk is in his mid-fifties, and his knees probably need a well-deserved break. Still, we can’t help but feel like we’re all getting a bit too old.
What a Wreck
Not only was the wreck of the ship, the Titanic, an incredibly real and tragic event, but the movie about the shipwreck is one of the most iconic films to ever have been made.
You’d think that with so many people knowing about the Titanic, we’d have a better idea of exactly where it happened. We don’t know about you, but the wreck is so much closer to North America than we ever would’ve guessed. Who knew?
Pig Girl
People have very strong opinions when it comes to the Muppets. Like any other show, fans have been heavily invested in the romantic relationships and happenings on the show since the beginning.
One Twitter user was especially ticked off by Miss Piggy’s romantic advances toward Kermit, which were especially persistent, and refused to watch The Muppets because of it. Too bad they got Kermit’s species wrong.
I Know Everything
After months of having an affair with her best friend’s boyfriend, this girl couldn’t wait for him to break up so they could finally be together without hiding their love. The last phone call they shared made her believe she would finally get her wish.
When she checked her phone just ten minutes after hanging up on him, however, she saw a text from her friend that said, “I know everything,” with an attached photo of the couple smiling, her best friend now showing off a big diamond ring. The next message came in. “You’ll never have him,” it read.
You Called?
Twitter destroys the boundaries between regular people and celebrities. If you’re clever enough and they’re feeling kind enough to respond, you just might get your dream interaction with your celeb role model.
All this Twitter user needed to do was summon Tom Arnold by saying his name three times, and Arnold made an appearance and a wisecrack. We’re sure they appreciated the interaction regardless.
Mortal Enemy
Sometimes, life gets so busy that remembering to do even the simplest of tasks can be difficult. While we’re a bit concerned that these parents need to set a reminder to feed their child, we’re not judging.
However, when they asked Alexa to put it in their schedule for the day, she heard something very different and decided to set an alarm that was, well, alarming. If the watch commands it, then that is what shall happen.
So Real
If you’re searching for the best deals around, look no further than your local Applebee’s, the best restaurant to get your drink on for cheap and your lifelong trauma secured.
We’re not saying Applebee’s is ignoring this accusation, but we’re also not saying there isn’t a reason they’re trying to quell their customers’ thirst so they don’t remember anything they see. These deals have to be seen to be believed!
Clever Boy
At three years old, kids are barely grasping shapes and how to move their bodies in the way they want to. No three-year-old child is understanding the concept of death, Rebecca.
We’re not sure what the obsession is with trying to make your kids look smarter on the internet for a whole bunch of people who couldn’t care less. At least try to make it believable next time.
We’re not sure what the obsession is with trying to make your kids look smarter on the internet for a whole bunch of people who couldn’t care less. At least try to make it believable next time.
One Hit Wonder
Third Eye Blind made a huge impact when they released their song “Jumper” in 1998. In fact, not only was it a catchy song, but one person decided to take inspiration from this tune to mold their entire social media presence around.
This Twitter user had a clear vision in mind for their account. They carried it out perfectly, left their mark on the world, and disappeared. If this isn’t a piece of art, we don’t know what is.
Green Dennis Here
Canada has its fair share of stereotypes. Besides their funny way of saying common English words and their tendency to be overly kind to everyone, apparently, they also tend to mess up the names of well-known cultural icons.
The human decency, we could deal with. The obsession with all things maple might be difficult, but we could handle it. However, calling Kermit the Frog “Green Dennis” is simply crossing the line.
Hogging the Yard
Moving to a rural area comes with all sorts of challenges. Instead of having a small space in the city for your kids to run around in, you just might find yourself face-to-face with a whole team of hogs in your backyard.
While no one wants their children to get trampled by some wild beasts, there’s no good way to get rid of them. That yard is the hogs’ yard now. Your kids can play inside.
Just Catty
For those city folks who don’t know, there are plenty of areas closer to nature where coyotes are a real threat to your beloved household pets. If you happen to live in a neighborhood plagued by these creatures, it’s a good idea to keep your pets indoors.
Unfortunately, this guy didn’t get the hint the first, second, or even fifth time of losing his cats to the coyotes. Meanwhile, these canines probably loved this man for the endless free meals.
Formatting Error
Students and adults everywhere have relied on Microsoft Word for their writing needs for as long as it’s been released. It’s familiar and reliable, until, God forbid, you need to add an image to your document.
You’d think trying to add a picture was the end of the world. You better like where Microsoft puts it because if you try to move it one bit, all bets are off for the formatting of your paper.
Stroke of Genius
Everything about James Bond is sleek and powerful—his agent number, his suit, and of course, his iconic greeting. If we were to come face to face with the secret agent, we’d be scared out of our wits.
However, with just a hint of a stroke, James Bonds turns from intimidating to a man who can’t seem to get his words out of his mouth. Even a strong secret agent isn’t immune to the body’s defects.
Two Halves
Life is full of mystery. What we don’t know greatly outweighs the small amount we do know, no matter how much we study. Luckily, there is one way to become the smartest person on the planet.
With the help of these two books, you can uncover everything there is to know about the world, all without having to go to Harvard Business School, or really do anything else. Talk about an incredible investment.
The Nigels
When you start dating someone, you have to prepare yourself to deal with everything that comes with them—their baggage, their family, and of course, their furry friends.
Getting used to a new pet in your life is one thing, but getting used to responding to “human Nigel” is sure to be difficult. How else should the family differentiate between the original Nigel and the second, less important, human Nigel?
Playing With Fur
The dads of the world work hard to make things function how they’re supposed to and to support their families along the way. It’s time to honor your father for all the hard work he does, just like this Twitter user.
Being an electrician sounds like hard work, but this little dad is taking everything in stride and doing the best he can. You go, little guy!
Pump it Up
Air Horns can make just about anything more exciting. Blow it at a sports match and get the whole section cheering with you. Add it to the beginning of a song and get the whole audience pumped.
The only time airhorns don’t improve the mood 100% is when you mistake the can for a spray deodorant. You might not smell good, but you’ll be hyped up immensely.
Not Suspicious
Going undercover requires a lot of research and training to prepare themselves for the intensive situations they might find themselves in and the groups of people they have to blend in with.
Unfortunately, some training might’ve gotten lost along the way for this passionate Twitter user, who is clearly not a cop, nor looking to bust anyone for any illegal activities. He really knows how to do his job.
Twitter Magic
Twitter gives people access to Hollywood stars in a way that’s unprecedented. Lots of people dream of their celebrity heroes replying to their Tweets, but not many actually get to have this dream come true.
This Twitter user figured out a hilarious way to summon the actor and comedian Tom Arnold, even if it was only so he would insult her. She got what she wanted so we’re seeing this as a win.
Four Eels
We’re not sure if OutKast knew the impact they would make with their hit song, “Ms. Jackson,” but they changed history forever.
Thanks to this musically gifted group and catchy lyrics, the world was graced with this parody that we can’t get out of our heads. No one ever meant to make your daughter cry, Ms. Jackson—not even the four eels.
Lots of Love
This woman never forgot her first love. They had broken up years ago, but she still thought about him. One day, years later, after scrolling through Facebook, she stumbled upon a post he had dedicated to his wife, but stopped dead when she saw a picture of her.
She looked exactly like her. In fact, she had the same name as her, and the same job in another firm. Even their kids were named after her grandparents. Someone had stolen her identity and ended up marrying her first love.
Pasta La Vista
We’ve heard of all kinds of reasons for being fired, but so few have angered us like this reason. Olive Garden, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Why wouldn’t they put this on their resume? Only a company that sees the injustice of this firing would be the right fit for this ex-Olive Garden employee. Keep your standards—and your head—high.
Unleashed
Dogs are incredible creatures for all kinds of reasons. Not only do they provide constant companionship, but they also possess a remarkable talent for helping us to make endless new connections with people.
If you’re looking to meet your next romantic partner but have no dog, don’t fret. All you need is a leash and a ton of confidence and you’re just one step away from meeting the girl of your dreams.
Spicy Take
Let’s face it—the stereotype that white folks lack taste and the ability to ingest anything spicy is not far from the truth. Sometimes, even a bit too much pepper can send them over the edge and leave them grasping at their cups of water.
However, let’s not generalize here. We’re forgetting a whole group of white people who love a hot sauce that hurts just as much going in as it does coming back out again. Good for them.
Name Your Rice
Buying in bulk is a great idea to save on a product you consume often. Just make sure you know exactly how much you’re buying, or you might end up in a situation like this.
We have to give props to this guy for trying to convince the driver to drive the rice truck back to the warehouse, but it looks like he’s made his rice bed and now has to lie in it.
So Cheesy
You know you’ve gone to a fancy restaurant when the waiter comes with a block of fresh parmesan to grate over your steaming plate of pasta. It’s one of life’s simple pleasures that we’ll never get tired of.
There’s no need to ruin something so sacred by phrasing it in a way that makes everyone around you uncomfortable. We’ve never heard someone refer to spaghetti as “my wets”—and we never want to hear it again.
Barbaric Behavior
Lots of people jump to the defense of animals in cases of inhuman treatment and illegal hunting. However, sometimes their noble intentions can blind them to reality.
This viral photo of director Steven Spielberg garnered thousands of angry responses from internet warriors who failed to realize that the animal depicted here has been extinct for 66 million years. And that it was taken on the set of the most famous dinosaur movie franchise ever made. Not quite so barbaric after all…
Doctor’s Orders
Doctors make the world go around. After years of studying hard, they know exactly how the body works and what it needs, allowing them to save endless lives throughout their career.
We put a lot of trust into what doctors say today, which has us concerned. After all, people also put a lot of trust into doctors in the past, when they were prescribing lobotomies and a certain white powder used for recreational purposes now.
Scooby Dooby Doo
Some people have such a distinct look, you can immediately tell what it is they do with their time and their career. For others, their looks don’t give anything away, giving them an air of mystery.
The only mysteries here are the ones this guy is solving along with the Mystery Incorporated team as they ride around in their iconic van. All that’s missing is Scooby Doo by his side.
