Doggy Detective
My SIL lived in a neighborhood with a ridiculous HOA. The problem they had was that people didn’t collect their dog poop mouthpieces, so they did surveys of the feces and sought DNA samples from every dog in the area to find the dog(s), which I don’t think they ever ended up tracking down.
Still, I discovered that you can buy excellent animal urine online.
Dirty Business Practice
Everyone in my neighborhood had been fined for having a ‘dirty roof.’ Seriously, they said everyone’s roofs were dirty, and the neighborhood was bad. It’s not like they were covered in mold or anything… I don’t know how dirty the roof is, but 268 out of 284 homes in my neighborhood got fined $75 for it.
We later learned that the HOA president started an electric washing business and may have just wanted to create a business. He was removed from office, because of which none of us even paid him.
By Prescription Only
In my town, an HOA fights to keep the parents of a child with cerebral palsy from building a therapeutic playground in their backyard. U.S. The Department of Justice settled a lawsuit against the HOA for discrimination and non-compliance with the ADA.
The family became a walking wound because of all the s—. The HOA wanted proof that the playground was prescribed by a doctor or therapist, which is the most asinine thing I have ever heard.
Blinded Bad Taste
White Venetian blinds are right in the windows that are visible from the main street. I never noticed this, as it was a historic place and seemed cheap and classless. Plus I d—— if I did and d——if I didn’t. My cat destroyed the Venetian birds every time a new bird was laid, so I got reports of how badly they were doing.
I probably replaced it a dozen times in my year there. In addition, no children’s toys were ever recovered from any streets. Basically, families who dread it when you can never find a swing set or a basketball hoop. They were all retired homeowners who loved the d— Venetian blinds.
Curb Control
I briefly rented a condo with some friends. The landlord told us there was an HOA, but didn’t tell us all about their crazy rules. We got a $60 fine for leaving snow shovels on our front steps overnight. We were not allowed to put anything on the front steps or lawn.
We also pay a $80 fine for putting our trash on the road at 7pm the day before trash day. It turned out that 8pm was the first time we were allowed to turn it off. We all broke that lease, stayed for a few months, and went our separate ways. The constant threats of punishment and phone calls were inappropriate.
Supernatural Supervision
My cousin’s old neighborhood imposed a strict set of rules: no more than ’15 pound pets’, 8 PM curfew, outdoor basketball hoops (and of course no outdoor furniture or indoor furniture at all);..
Even worse, the head of the HOA had trained a group of Tibetan tulpas to enforce this rule as needed. People are dead. It was a mess. The FBI had to get involved.
Hidden Rules
We cannot refer condo rules to potential buyers unless they sign every final document at the time of sale or are tenants. We could only rent to families. Aaand we can only have two kids, one pet per unit.
None of these laws were followed, but when I petitioned and won the tire swing, the president’s wife still cut it because she thought it was awkward. My 3-year-old was hysterical.
Dress Code Defenders
The university only has two garage sales a year (April & September) and has a dress code for some community events. So that means if there are garage sales, birthday parties at the park, guests at the swimming pool, etc., residents and guests have to abide by certain dress codes. When we sell garages, we have to wear orange striped polos and khaki. ($30 Fine) You can’t share towels in the swimming pool, even if it’s family.
Everyone must bring their own. ($25 Fine) Any holiday decorations must be removed three days after the holiday($50 Fine). Different coloured bulbs cannot be used unless specified by the HOA(that means I cannot take 5,000K Daylight color bulbs not used, ($25). OK).
Green Thumb
In the first month of living in the townhouse, we have been informed that our lawn has not been mowed and that we are in danger of being fined. We didn’t have grass. The entire yard was covered in topsoil, seeds and grass.
The ‘grass’ became the weeds that grew in the shadow of the bay window. I didn’t design it. I tied it to a tree and told them it was our garden.
Fined for Fire
A nearby house caught fire. Luckily everyone was okay (they had young children), but the fire burned a hole in the side of the house.
While waiting for repairs, the family covered the hole with a blue tarp to stop the rain from seeping in and damaging it further and the HOA fined them because the tarp was an ‘eyesore.’
Doesn’t Hold Water
A friend of my father’s has a cabin on a small lake. When he bought the cabin, he observed that it was the only house in the lake. He started looking at the well because there was no one there. Decades later, they build construction on the lake, and their HOA decides they more or less own the lake.
They tried to punish him for the gas-powered boat, they tried to punish him for the length of his pier, and when they found out he was looking after the dam, they decided how high the lake should be and made a decision and were told to cut the dam. He did, ignoring everything that was sent to him. He was even sued, but the case was thrown out because he never joined the HOA.
Owners Only
Not the most ridiculous but now what irritates me the most is that the HOA I live in has made a change that requires all townhouses to be owner occupied (no tenants). It was like when the housing market was booming, and now habitual, I would rather be a tenant as a neighbor than an empty foreclosure property.
Time to start with a request and change the bylaws back…
Package Protection
Letter Boxes. The environment I grew up in called for beautiful, elegant, elegant wood or metal frames. We got out of a little rambler and picked up our black plastic mailbox.
We were told countless times to get a new one, but our plastic still had it. Ours was the only one not smashed by teenagers with baseball bats.
Special Permissions
I actually live in a condo with a pretty cool HOA right now…the worst place was actually when I lived in an apartment in a city that didn’t allow overnight parking. I had to park about 1/4 mile in town but had to move the car by 8:30 am. At night, the guests had to contact the police, who did not give them tickets.
When I broke my knee and was on crutches, I had to fax my doctor’s note to the police department to get special permission to park it at night on the street near my place. When I had to deal with the police playing ‘maybe I’m my guest tonight’ after an HOA has it to be really bad to be worse… ..
Judge and Jury
Before the end of 2007, I was threatened with fines for failure to rehabilitate my land, and I moved in Feb 2014… I had to attend a committee meeting and present my case, and then I had to meet 5 or 6 neighbors to discuss my fate.
It took until the next day to agree not to fine me. I am leaving as soon as possible.
Warning Signs
I had just finished my storage in the attic of my garage. The HOA visited me. HOA: That arrangement is illegal; You will have to break it! Me: I’m not doing anything like that, and you need to leave my property now! When I came home from work the next day, I saw a crane tearing into the machine with a wrecking ball! Me: What have you done? My son! Hoa – We warn you! Wait, who’s the son? What are you talking about? My mom came running over, screaming and crying Mom: I tried to stop her but she’s a monster and she shut her down HOA: W– what are you talking about? Me: I warned you.
Hoa: Kim!? Someone is in it! stop! stop! The panicked HOA person yelled at the crane operator to stop the wrecking ball and then started calling 911. Me: Get off my property right now—haven’t you done enough? Hoa: But, you baby! I can help you out. Me: Alright, we’re done now. You can’t save it but you’ll make a very big deal. Yes, people might say I’m too attached to my very rare fish but do you mind if I think of him as a son?
Petty Over Pets
There is a rule that you can only get a dog if you fill out these useless forms first, and No Dogs. This was a pretty big deal. A couple of months after we moved to the monthly HOA newsletter, there was an article about people with service dogs’ reason rules.
I wrote the crankiest, passive-aggressive sentence ever because they allowed it not to apply in an operational environment. It was funny.
Happy Camper
My parents live in a HOA community. One of their main rules is that you cannot give a camper a view from the park. In a residential county, you cannot park the camper in front of the house (basically the front door is considered the front of the house). They knew this when they visited the house so in the first month they knocked down a driveway addition that went to the backyard near their house.
Their house is at the end of the street so you can just see this camper I’d you walk into their side yard. A HOA sent my dad a pic someone took of him standing in his yard. He copied the county’s trespassing laws and gun safety regulations and submitted them to the HOA. I haven’t heard from them since.
Ding Dong
I lived in a monthly magazine. This month, I went through the entire back page, 8.5in x 11in, in an approved door clock. From what I remember: ‘Novelty’ frames were explicitly banned, for example- sports cars or golf games. No bronze or bass colors were allowed.
They wanted a circle but allowed an oval. The triangle was not allowed to move unless it turned into a diamond.
Open Door Policy
The Auburn Greens HOA in California has implemented a somewhat confusing set of rules that homeowners must follow. It says residents must keep their folding garage doors wide open between 8 am and 4 pm, Monday to Friday. Failure to comply with this particular order results in a hefty fine of $200.
Several issues arise with this rule, the first of which is what if there are no residents present during those designated hours, and they will do it? Surprisingly, the lack of homeowners appears to be non-trivial, as they are expected to rely on reliable hosts to occupy the storage space.
Nitpicking Neighbors
My parent’s house is in the HOA area, and they have fun rules like no parking outside until midnight and 7 am because it can decrease the value of the property. The grass cannot exceed 4 inches, regardless of whether it is visible from public property.
The AC unit should be secured and not visible from the street or another house. All storm damage (this is in Florida) must be repaired within one week. Each of these has a $35-$200 fine associated with them, although many are ‘suggested contributions’ and cannot be used.
Pack Up the Pickups
We can’t let any pickup trucks in our driveway. I live in Florida where nearly half of all passenger cars are pickup trucks, and I ignore the fact that most of these pickup trucks are pretty d— and expensive is really tough (aka not a work truck).
I petitioned the HOA board to change this ridiculous rule, fought the good fight with reasonable arguments, but unanimously opposed the fact that the only explanation seemed to be that there was a slippery slope there which causes unwanted substances to enter the area.
Dreadful Drought
I once finished remodelling my front lawn. Temperatures exceeding 100 degrees daily during the summer months. In one of the worst droughts on record. At the same time, the entire city was under water restrictions.
The new lawn (which I spent a few hundred dollars on) soon died, and they tried to get me to replace it again, but enough people complained when I agreed before they couldn’t replace our lawn until they did our water. The existing removed restrictions.
Night Vision
Growing up in my parents’ house you weren’t allowed to open and light the garage door after dark for 1) ornaments and 2) elephants. We were picked up because we were packing for camp, bringing stuff from the garage to the car in the driveway.
When we pointed out how dumb that was, they said if we had loaded the car in the dark, we could have done it without breaking the contract.
Impossible Task
I need to keep my lawn green and free of debris, or I get fined. This is caused by many problems. 1. We are in a drought (CA) 2. A big tree outside is constantly shedding its leaves 3. I don’t have a lawn because I live in a second-floor apartment. But my house is under the control of a crazy HOA.
I come to meetings to complain about these letters because they result in unenforceable penalties. Then they got mad at me for coming to complain. If you just stop mailing these letters and fines, I will stop coming to complain.
Drone Dud
There’s a single guy who runs the HOA. He doesn’t get paid or anything, he just does it because hes a power hungry a——. There’s no legislature, he has full power to impose any policy he wants.” unable to compete.”
Right now, hes trying to hire drones through a private company to ‘map’ out the area, even though it’s 2021 and everyone has access to google maps.He was hesitant though, because locals told if he flies drones through the area, they will be shot without legal retribution.
Front Page News
We put up a flagpole in our front yard when I was about 9, and the whole HOA got mad. It turned into a very d— shaking contest. It was the first and only time I was in the news, on the newspaper, and on the radio… all in about two weeks.
Eventually, we were able to move on and throw a huge block party, which led to another confrontation with the HOA. However, i never forget this experience in my lifetime when I got apricated by by seniors and got great recognitions over different platforms.
Rules on Rules
You may not park in one reserved parking space for more than 72 hours. The front or rear bumper may obstruct your vehicle when it adheres to the road surface. Children’s toys, including bikes and scooters, can’t be left outside when not in use…. I got a fine for that one when my daughter took a break to eat lunch. Room lights cannot be turned on after 10 pm without closing curtains.
The garbage must be taken out of the trunk of your car after 6 pm the night before for pickup. He is not picked up until about seven o’clock in the morning. It’s no fun when you have to leave early 7. No instructions on where to park if you don’t have a car or need to leave early. Follow the rules.
Manicured Mow
I am not allowed to monitor/mow my front yard. It measures eight feet by thirty feet. The soil in Oregon can be very wet, and it takes a terrible (really incompetent) lawn maintenance company (by the HOA) to maintain the yard. They also control my front water system, which they do terribly…and they haven’t done the courtesy of even trying to cover up the weeds.
I’ve been complaining since the day I moved in, and the best I got were a couple of new traffic reports. I think three, in my driveway, is too many. I asked if I could maintain my own yard, although I continued to pay for the service, and got a definite ‘no’.”
Color Wars
All of the fencing on your property should be the same color and match the fence next door to the neighbor’s property. The neighborhood consisted of planned single-family homes with fences between homes. Looking from the street went house-fence-house-fence-house-…. I was in the middle of the row, with both neighbors sharing a fence, each with its own color. I received the violation notice the same week I moved.
If I stacked my fences to match each other, at least one of my neighbors on the other side wouldn’t meet their fences. This would send a series of violations out.
Picking Sides
This really bothers me, in my town, you can’t park on the same side of the street as the fireworks. No, I don’t mean you can’t park near one. I mean, all of our fireplaces are on (let’s say) the left side, and you can’t park anywhere on the left side.
It’s frustrating because my lifelong friends have come and parked in front of my house and I have to run outside to tell them they can’t park because there is also a fire pit on this side of the road in the park .
Counting Trees
House numbers should be made of brass. You should have at least three trees in your front yard. The HOA, I hear, is very inefficient.
There are no rules that I know of. And they don’t take punishment. I have a neighbor who just stopped paying the loan and decided not to be part of the HOA. Nothing happened as a result.
Leak in the Laws
My parents own a vacation home in Florida and have an HOA there. They absolutely hate the people on the board. It was announced a few years ago that everyone should have a new roof and their choice of roof.
My parents were very smart and withdrew. Our neighbor immediately re-roofed it and it all started to leak because the tiles were not suitable for the Florida weather…and the shingles broke on most people’s roofs at this time, much to the annoyance of many which they spent money on in the first place then the place had to spend money on it again. My parents never followed the rules and now there are no rules because there are so many factors involved.
Working Man’s Woes
My family and I dodged these bullets, but in some neighborhoods we found that service vehicles were not allowed, and this included privately owned pickup trucks, even if they weren’t company vehicles. The parents found out from a neighbor who took s— in his pickup truck, because now my dad is an over the road trucker and when we live there he can’t get out of the trailer and go home. HOAs quickly became a big nope for us.
We picked up several in the parking lot before we moved. If we bought a house just so someone else could tell us what we could and couldn’t do with it, we might rent a new trailer.
Pick and Choose
We are fined every time we put up Indian decorations at any festival. The Diwali lamps (tea lamps in ceramic pots) outside our front door were a ‘fire hazard’, the chalk and lime driveway decor washed away by the rain an ‘eye sore’ ( but the children could pull out pieces of hopscotch), and flowers had been broken at harvest time Garden rules….
But people could put up whatever decorations (including things) they wanted for Christmas, Easter and Halloween.
Long Winded Answer
My parents’ house was built with a 4-foot fence. They have an attached pool, which is allowed, but they need a 5-foot fence OR the pool must be fenced in. They are not allowed to change the 4-foot fence, so they are forced to go to the pool ho doors.
The rule should be that you have to shut off your pool. They engage in a long shenanigan to get there.
Paint Police
My parents moved into a HOA a few years ago. I stayed with them for a while. One day, someone from the HOA went around each house giving mailboxes acceptable colors of gray.
If the white in the mailbox didn’t exactly match one shade of gray, they had to return it to paint the mailbox at the homeowner’s expense. My parents had to repaint their white paper box so the shade of white was acceptable.
Counting the Days
In townhouse neighborhoods with basically a shared pipeline in the back with everyone having driveways/garages. Expired vehicles are not permitted to be parked on the driveway. I barely had my car (not in the garage at all) since the lock down started and I forgot to renew my registration so the tags were out of date.
I have repeatedly received letters in my one car driveway with an expired model of one of my cars. My state only requires plates on the back of the car so now I just back my car into the driveway until I almost touch the garage door.
Doesn’t Add Up
Our dumbest rule is that when something is passed you only need a majority of the people who voted but you need a majority of your community to block it.
So 50 ppl vote and 26 vote for it passes but if 26 vote against it doesn’t count because 51% of the 2600 households in your area need to vote against it.
All or Nothing
When garage doors are locked, they must close all the way without gaps. The dumb part is that this rule was added because of me. I drove a tow truck and often went there at night. There was already a rule that commercial vehicles could not be parked on the driveway or on the street, OK, fair enough, I’ll take that in the garage.
It didn’t fit the boom properly, so I landed the messiah fork and closed the garage door on it. Shortly afterwards everyone was informed of the rule change and after that I had to park about a mile away.
Out of Sight
The HOA agreement says trash cans can’t be seen from the street. We put it next to our house like part of the neighborhood. You can only find them if you follow the trailing edge of the road and really try to find them. And of course that traffic is less because it’s a road.
The management company told us to put it in the garage or outside the house. I chose the back of the house with a view of the entire f—— neighborhood as we backed into the neighborhood and out onto the highway.
Seasonal Migration
My parent’s HOA are strict idiots. I can’t have any holiday decorations up past the first week of Jan. My mom pulled a Clark Griswold and broke her ankle, falling down the stairs with decorations before the holidays, so some flowers were left on the front door longer than allowed. They got photos and a bill.
A few summers later, they and some neighbors decided to stick it on the man. They found a bunch of straw plastic flamingos and planted them in one of their yards. Every time the HOA sent a letter, the sheep moved to another yard. It lasted about a month and a half.
Repair Assessment
We just moved into our new house, and within a week, we had a HOA. HOA: ‘Welcome to your new home.’ You have to pay a $2000 penalty for a ‘repair assessment’. Me: ‘No, we just came here today.” HOA: ‘It’s okay; you have to pay. Or leave the house.’ (My wife saw all this; she came from the back.) Wife: ‘Okay, tomorrow we’ll pay two thousand dollars.’ The next morning at 6 am the HOA I looked at the letter, it said he had to pay us $5000 for the trouble.
My wife couldn’t understand why this was happening soon after we moved in and it turned out to have nothing to do with us at all. The HOA mandated a ‘maintenance assessment’ ordinance in an attempt to secure additional funding from new owners when repairs are not needed. The crying HOA member explained everything, and no one should have to pay.”
Pesky Pigeons
Not exactly the law, but my HOA has been fighting a never-ending war with pigeons since I bought my condo 5 years ago. Their ultimate plan was to leave trays of poison seeds all over the neighborhood (on the ground, no less). This resulted in pigeon carcasses appearing throughout the area with a drastic reduction in the number of pigeons hanging around.
The blowing of trays during a blizzard also made everyone afraid to walk their dog for fear of poisoning. A+ Work HOA.
Not My Job
I bought my first house in a gated community. It was 2010, and there was a foreclosure, and I was getting a bill from the HOA for 5k because I didn’t keep up on the lawn. Guy comes over to talk about it, so I tell him I just bought the place, and the title company had to handle all outstanding fees.
He’s getting kind of snotty, then points out a black cable that goes to a dish satellite. She says the lines should match the colour of the house. I ripped the wires from the wall in front of her and asked if there was anything else I could do to help her. He wanted the title company to be named, but I told him that it was all on paper and that he would let the association act.
Up in Flames
Bought an old house in an old sub. The builder came in and built new houses around the old ones. A problem but oh well. Then tried to apply the code from the new sub to the old sub. It wasn’t very well received so we refused to ‘join’. His HOA ordered ‘no shades’. We have several rooms in the old section.
One of his homes caught fire in the parking lot and spread quickly. The fire department said this was because the family did not have a closet and there were safety hazards in the garage such as fuel and logging equipment.
Heated Argument
Yesterday we were made aware of the terrible, s—— foundation that conflicts with the kitchen and the fire extinguisher has to be installed on the kitchen wall.
We took it on when we bought the house three years ago, and now we have to sink a lot of money into buying a stupid-a– foundation and a new fire extinguisher.
Fenced In
A guy I know bought a house on a corner lot in a low income area. I think the orders were more strictly enforced because he lived in a low-income area. When he bought the house, he installed a privacy fence on one side of the corner lot.
His house faced the corner of the lot. He was forced to remove it because he technically did not have a backyard that could be seen from the street. He was almost forced to cut the fence up to his waist in order to obey the law.
Power Trip
I got out of college, and my first paying job was in personal security. I was working in a gated HOA community that was…crazy. The resident guard takes a perverse pleasure in strictly enforcing their rules and showing them how stupid they are.
For example, you have to have a visitors pass to park, a parking pass which can be denied if the landlord gave you the house illegally, you don’t plant or maintain your own yard, it’s all done contracted and not an option, there is the old parking pass, that once While it is valid, your vehicle will still get towed. His favorite was when the rule was enacted, “No delivery trucks after 5PM.” No one got flowers on Valentine’s Day, and the HOA promptly changed the rule.
